Hi bloggers. Sorry I haven't been posting much, as I mentioned previously, I have started to feel a bit superstitious about my blog.
We had our nuchal scan on Monday and all looked perfect. We saw the baby's brain (can't take after my side of the family as it has one... ho ho, chortle, chortle), arms, legs, spine and heard the heartbeat for the first time. We were delighted and relieved but I didn't cry.
We spent that evening calling and telling people, some of them sounded more excited than us. In fact, that worried me a bit. Why are people more excited than me? It felt wrong telling people, like I am some sort of fraudster/imposter and I am not really pregnant at all. I don't feel much different, apart from extreme tiredness and occasional mild nausea, though I look pregnant (many friends said they knew before I told them as I look pregnant- must be bloat).
I know many people cry when they see their baby on the screen or hear the heartbeat- I didn't. Am I made of stone?
I wonder if, one some level, I am protecting myself. Due to the time taken to get here, I think I still don't believe it will happen. I can't imagine giving birth, I can't imagine breastfeeding, hell, I can't imagine having a real bump or being kicked by the baby.
I am not giving myself a hard time, but I surprised myself with my reaction.
I think that makes alot of sense about you trying to protect yourself. I am SO happy that your scan went well and baby is doing great. CONGRATS!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way in the beginning, too. Sort of incredulous that I was REALLY pregnant, and now that I am almost 32 weeks, the reality has finally set it. By the way, I also had an ectopic/tube loss in May 2010, and girl, look at us now. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I totally get it! These people are seemingly more excited because they are hearing about it for the first time, so part of it is the shock, I'm sure. You've been thinking about it for weeks (hell, months/years!) so the excitement isn't as new and fresh to you as it is to them. In any case, congrats on making it to the phone calls. I dream of that day!!
ReplyDeleteNope, it's all damn normal. I've thought a lot about my own reaction if we are blessed. I think it will be a mixed emotion of fear, anxiety and absolute disbelief. No cheers, no tears, no cartwheels. Just a shitload of praying every damn day till those 12wks pass, then baby is in arms. When I was preg with my son I screamed with joy. IF takes away the parades.
ReplyDeleteCongrats my friend on hitting the 2nd Tri. I think this is really happening... You are going to be a mum, instead of watching everyone else do it.
I want to thank you for your unconditional support through this whole journey. I will continue to be here for you cause I want to see this pommy baby!!
Congrats - I have been thinking of you and glad everything is going well :-)
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog! Congratulations on reaching the 2T. I think it is very normal to feel the way you do -- I know I protected myself for my entire pregnancy and I know I will if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again. After go through what we have been through, it is only natural. I am glad everything is going well!!
ReplyDeleteHey, just checking in on how you're doing! Hope everything is well!
ReplyDeleteDon’t think of anything else just contact Dr Abalaka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to conceive due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the Priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Dr Abalaka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Dr on (dr.abalaka@outlook.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
ReplyDelete1. Fibroid
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9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
10.Infertility for easy Conception.......
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Those are what he does, You can simply contact the spiritualist Dr Abalaka on (dr.abalaka@outlook.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..