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Friday 17 February 2012

Pain in the arse colleagues

Well, inspired by Sushi Girl's entry about irritating colleagues, I thought I would post about one of mine.

To start with, her voice is so annoying. She sounds like Katie Price (Jordan). If you don't know how she speaks, it's through her nose, long and drawn out, common and bored. She says, "Oh, ffffannnk yooooooou." She's a bit of a bitch and spends a lot of time at other people's desks whispering, pulling faces. You wouldn't think she is 29.

She got married in 2010 and ALL she spoke about for 2 years was her sodding wedding. She obviously had a massive, tacky engagement ring (and an engagement party and spent more money on her specially made engagement party dress than I spent on my wedding dress). The wedding had around 300 guests and, as you can probably guess, she wore a massive, puff-ball wedding dress and had chocolate fountains every where at the reception (so I am told). I saw a hilarous video clip on her fbook page. It was one of those tacky photo montages of her and her husband from babies to adulthood then photos of them out together, on holiday etc- they showed it at the wedding and it was 10 minutes long. 10 minutes. I couldn't sit through that, even if it was about me!

She is the kind of person who loves to be the centre of attention and is so fake. She also flirts inapproriately with 50 year old married colleagues (who should know better than to flirt back). As I type she is loudly taking to some workmates about the fact that she has a 18-year-old niece (so an adult and only 11 years younger than her) and she dislikes how the niece never calls her aunty. She said, in a whingy voice, "I would like her to acknowledge that I am her auuuuuuuuuuuuunty sometimes." Get a grip woman, you were 11 when she was born! I have several nieces and nephews, all children, and not one of them calls me aunty!

About 3 weeks ago, I got into work to find the office was bedlam. Everyone was standing around her desk cooing and generally causing a fuss. I had an inkling of what was going on. Someone told me, "She's pregnant and it's twins."

Yes, it would be wouldn't it.

5 comments:

  1. Ugh. She sounds ghastly.

    But twins? I had to smile at the thought of her first few months (and I'm not usually this nasty). She'll pay for it.

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  2. So you have to go through all this WITH her. Know doubt she will know it all and be offering YOU advice. I feel bad for you already! I think we all have a token dumbarse in our office. I once wrote a whole blog about this piece of work in my office who looks like a praying mantis in high heels. She has been married 2yrs, no kids, but frequently gave me advice on my son teething. She claims she has no time for children, but I think it's because she is scared. She is uneducated and believes schooling is a time waster? Yeah great role model. I despise her like no one else in my life EVER! Just because she knows it all, and never admits when she is wrong.

    Of course it's twins, but don't rule out she took clomid to get them. Things are never what they seem my dear.

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  3. Nooo! I bet any money her Facebook is going to be like something off STFU Parents.

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  4. Oh ick. This being one of many reasons I don't live in the UK. Generally speaking we don't get so many of these people in Korea.

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  5. Mali- that is what I thought. She obviously loves it at the moment as the fact that it is twins makes it all the more "special", but I don't think she will be thinking that during those first few months.

    Tee- I doubt she took clomid, she's the kind of person who would have told us all about it.

    SG- it definitely will be like that. Her whole life is STFU.

    Kat- I sometimes think that us Brits could do with a bit of oriental reserve.

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