I am a wimp

First day of down regulation today. I want to have a baby and yet I am willingly forcing my body into a false menopause. Let's hope that the end justifies the means.

I have to take it at the same time every day, so thought it best to do it in the morning. I have a life and often am out in the evenings- don't much fancy lugging around a glass vial and syringe or injecting myself in someone's toilet. I am not a heroin addict.

I put it off by making tea and showering, brushing my hair, putting on underwear and laying out my clothes. With my back to my husband (so he couldn't see how glamorous I looked) I sat on the edge of the bed in my bra and knickers and drew the drug from the vial into the syringe. I grabbed a lovely roll of flab (seem to have a little more of that since I started eating more protein, mainly egg and cheese as I am veggie) and went to push the tiny, thin needle in. Before I even inserted I jumped up and shrieked. My husband looked up in alarm, "Did it hurt?".
"I didn't even get it in. It feels wrong to be stabbing myself with needles."
"Do you want me to do it."
"No thanks, I really should do it myself."
"OK then."
(10 second pause) "eeeek"
"Did you do it?"
"No"
And so it continued another couple of times. I was so pathetic and girlie. In the end I let him to it. I warned him that it was to be done in my flab. It didn't hurt much but it did sting.

So there you go, finally started my cycle. I have learnt that I am a big scaredy cat, my husband has seen a roll of flab on my body.