A girl I made internet weirdy friends with on a wedding planning forum has just messaged me to say she is pregnant, she was actively trying for 2 months and even knows the lingo (and knows that I am having IVF treatment, one of the few people who do). Hearing her say that she has her BFP made my stomach lurch. All the usual questions we infertiles think came into my head, "Why not me, why does she find it so easy?" blah blah blah. I bore myself with my own predictability, I have no control, I can't help it. Oh, I also found out today that 3 of my colleagues are pregnant. I really hate finding out such news, my reaction is immediate and physical- I just feel sick.
A summary of my treatment so far: am on day 19 of DR, will be going in for a baseline scan tomorrow to see if my ovaries are quiet and I can begin stimms. If that is the case then I can start tomorrow. I was feeling positive until I got the news above. I am a very jealous person and really wish I wasn't. It's not a nice attribute.
I'm sorry you had to get that news at this time. I hope you can go back to being positive. And if you find a way to get over your jealousy quickly can you post it to help the rest of us green-eyed monsters? :) I hope your scan goes well tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get good news tomorrow on the u/s and can start stims. Tell the girl on internet that infertility terms are only to be used with us IFers, lol. She is not part of this exclusive group.
ReplyDeleteIf I had a dollar for every pang of jeleousy I'd shout us all IVF till we filled our homes with giggling kids!
ReplyDeleteWork preg news is the worst, as they are not friends you can be happy for, and their bellies grow in your face. Thank heavens the girl in my office left work at 35wks preg. She would nearly chaffe the skin off her belly with the constant belly rubbing.
Best luck with the scan... C'mon!!! Let's squeeze you into belly rubbing club before Xmas!
Ouch. And at work? Ouch, ouch, OUCH!
ReplyDeleteJealousy is I'm afraid natural. You're a person. It's normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all been there.
Sucks. Just sucks. Right with you.
ReplyDelete