Driving myself mental in the 2ww...

OK, it's CD 23, my cycles are 26 days so my AF is due on Saturday.

Fiance and I have done all we can- bd every night for a week, used OPKs so I know we could have caught the right time, no alcohol or caffeine for me (after I read that just 1 drink a week can reduce your chances of conceiving by 7%).

I watched the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday with a friend- a tall order sober I can tell you- have you SEEN the Eurovision Song Contest??? I got to her flat and she looked at me in bewilderment when I said I wasn't drinking (like I was mad or something). I lied and said I am on anti-biotics and I should be drinking again by next weekend (when I will see her again for a BBQ)... my inner pessimist. She told me that she doesn't stop drinking when on anti-biotics, I stuck to my guns though (apart from one fleeting moment when I though the UK would win- we were top of the leader board at the beginning very briefly). I will be miffed if it is not my time.

Deep down I know it won't be, but I still think I might. They have found nothing wrong with me, so there may be nothing wrong with me (my inner pessimist says that there is something wrong with me but they don't know what it is- I think I have a short luteal phase- as it's 12 days, but the Dr says there's no such thing- humph).

I keep on checking to see if my boobs are still sore. If they stop being sore the day before period is due I will be depressed. I haven't tested early in such a long time (by which I mean on the day of or before my period), but I might do this month. I am going to a BBQ on Sat, I will test Sat morning because if I am not pregnant I have to drink. I have to. I miss it. Especially cava.