feeling cheerful

I went to the Drs yesterday and she was lovely. She has referred me to King's in London, which has a good rep and a shorter waiting list than the other hospital I was referred to. She said that I may not need the lap and dye, and is confident that if the first consultant told me that that I don't need one then the King's would probably be OK with that.

I feel so relieved, I didn't realise it, but I was worrying about this sub-consciously. Just have to wait for my appointment letter from King's now.

Sobbing by the Thames

Two weeks ago, I reached the lowest point in my life so far.

I was sitting by the Thames on a cold metal bench, the wind beating my miserable face, sobbing and shaking, like I have never done before in public (as an adult at least).

The despair and hopelessness seemed like it would never end, I felt wretched and my husband-to-be watched on helplessly.

"I don't even know if I want children anymore. Look at what this has done to you, look at what you have become. I alone can't make you happy. You will never be happy until you have a baby." he said rather coldly.

How did I get here? I shall explain gradually in this blog, and update whenever I feel necessary. I only hope that this infertility blog is one with a happy ending.